THE END IS NIGH!*

The climate's getting hotter.

Only rarely does it rain.

Food is getting scarcer.

Our house pets we have slain!

We're running out of oil.

Our cars no longer run.

Every wheel is squeaky

For lack of Three-in-One.

Every day the tabloids

Warn of our demise.

Evil smelling aliens

Will attack us from the skies.

Asteroids will strike the earth,

There'll be no place to hide.

If E.T. doesn't get us

By hot rock we'll be fried.

Moreover science tells us

The poles are soon to switch.

North and South will be reversed.

(Does it matter which is which?).

The year Two-Thousand Twelve,

On December Twenty-one:

That's the day the world will end,

So now's the time for fun.

But just in case we live to see

December Twenty-two,

We'll leave some money in the bank

And get our shots for flu!

*Based on a Toronto Globe and Mail article, summer, 2009