Crime’s what makes the world go ‘round!
Spare us from the safe and sound.
Without some crime what would we see
For entertainment on TV?
How much employment would be lost?
What would be the social cost?
No need for jails, no need for cops,
No need for keys, no need for locks.
How boring urban life would be
If no one pinched our jewelry!
If terror never stalked the street,
If only nice guys we should meet.
So befriend your local crook.
You may think that you were took
When he broke into your home
And stole your lap-top and cell-phone.
Don’t lapse into a temper vile.
He’s really made your life worthwhile.
He boosts the welfare of the nation
And spiced up your conversation.