THE PERFECT HOST

Sip! Sip! Sniff! Sniff!

Hold it to the light.

Is the wine from Bordeaux

Or a less known site?

It’s certainly from France,

Or is it Italy?

I detect a touch of Spain.

No, it must be Germany!

Is it sweet or is it dry?

Does it have a nice bouquet?

Is it simple or complex?

Does it recall a sunny day?

So much I must consider

When choosing one that’s right,

To show I know my stuff,

That I’m urbane and bright.

Don’t be such an asshole!

Your guests don’t have a clue.

They can’t tell sweet or dry,

Bordeaux from Timbuktu.

Buy the cheapest brands.

Plonk makes the perfect host.

If it provides a buzz,

It’s good enough for most!