A NEW POPE!

The Pope is stepping down!           

What mind-bending news!

What’s he going to do?

Who will fill his shoes?

Why retire so early?

He’s a robust eighty-five.

He can still run a marathon,

Ski and paradive!

The Vatican needs change,

Perhaps a woman’s touch.

Could Lady Gaga fill the role?

She could offer much!

She could wear the funny hat,

And the gown of white brocade.

The College of Cardinals

She’d leave in the shade!

But how will Ben keep busy?

Rebuilding vintage cars?

Managing his investments?

Hanging out in bars?

Send suggestions to his Website.

You might win a prize:

A trip for two to Rome

To see Lady GaGa live!

STYLE-MONGER

Styles change. I must keep track.

Us trendies never dare look back.

Do we wear our tops untucked,

Let slip our jeans till all but shucked?

Should our hair be long or short,

Bald or dreadlocks, hip or sport?

Are we shod in shoes or boots?

Are we thugs? Are we suits?

Should we get our arms tattooed?

Do we want our biceps viewed?

Is it our wish to indicate

If boys or girls our favoured date?

We must consider many things,

From cosmetic gels to pinky rings.

It’s so hard keeping up with trends,

But I have a million Facebook friends!