THE GOSSIP

I live for steamy gossip

About my dearest friends.

Who is screwing whom?

Who’s ill, who AA attends!

Who owes a bundle,

Can’t even pay the rent?

Who’s behind in taxes?

How did Joe’s car get the dent?

Whose kids are delinquents,

Always high on dope?

Whose parents are demented,

Can no longer cope?

I thrive on misfortune

(As long as it’s not mine!).

Minding others’ business

Is my idea of a good time!

So keep the gossip flowing.

Listening is my trade.

Keep me up to date

On each juicy escapade!